I bake, therefore I survive

One of the topics often discussed among Europeans here in Australia is bread.
It is just not the same as at home. And it is very expensive too, compared to what we are used to, which makes it harder to accept the quality. We miss heavy, crusty loafs full of seeds – and no, you do not get that in Australia, unless you live near an IKEA. Yes, that’s right: IKEA (and no, they do not make it from the remaining saw dust, like some people think). This packet was my savior for the five years we lived in Brisbane:

I just spent the weekend in Brisbane, arriving with hand luggage only, departing with a 17kg suitcase. Our survival is secured for a little while yet.

But unfortunately there is no IKEA in Cairns and no bakery either which make this type of bread. Luckily, when I was in Denmark my friend Nina gave me the recipe for cold risen bread, which substitutes nicely (though it is not dark enough, but I might be able to fix that myself). I thought I’d share the recipe with you, just in case your stomach needs some real love.

Ingredients:
350 g of flour
15 g of yeast
350 ml of cold water
1 tsp of salt
1 tbsp of sugar
1 tbsp of oil
1 cup of oats/seeds/sawdust or whatever you like

Mix flour with yeast, salt, sugar and oats. Mix water with oil. Mix it all together – it should be like a thick, sticky porridge. Cover the bowl with cling film and stick in the fridge overnight. This step takes less than 5 minutes. The next morning you spoon the dough onto the plate (no mixing it, leave the air in) to create buns (I use two spoons for this) and leave for 10 min (that gives the oven time to warm up). Bake for 25 – 30 min at 200C. All done.

Look at the love in those! Sunflower seeds, poppy seeds, oats and all. Yum, yum, yum!

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Weird day yesterday

Yesterday was a weird day. Not only did my trusted source Marshall, turn out to be not so trustworthy, I also ended up drinking dishwashing liquid. Not because of Marshall, but because Mr Husband and I have different habits around the kitchen and I didn’t take notice. Which was weird too after such long time together.

First things first: Marshall was wrong about the calls to your mobile. They can’t charge you for calls. BUT I got new information, through the lovely commentators on the blog, that the very same thing can happen through text messages. If anyone watched the crappy TV, which was on two days ago, they would also know that companies can use the advertising on free apps (on your smartphone) to go through our text messages, contact lists, emails and other fun.

So it was essentially wrong, but not completely. I now need to find out how to register to NOT get the text messages.

Second, I also need to find a suitable diet for the day. I have a feeling that coffee is out of the question. I googled “what to eat if you drank dishwashing liquid” and the first response was “glow in the dark Mountain Dew” which I don’t think is the answer either (try if you don’t believe me).

Third, Mr Husband and I need to have a talk about new rules on how to do dishwashing and not use clean glasses to store dishwashing liquid in, especially not right next to the sink. His wife will fill the glass with water, not notice the bubbles (there were hardly any) and happily drink the water. The observant reader will ask: but couldn’t you taste it, Signe?
Eeeh NO! It did taste a bit funny, but the water in Cairns generally tastes like crap, all tap water in Australia tastes like crap, this time it just tasted like different crap. AND we use eco-friendly, biodegradable, almost organic dishwashing liquid, which probably contains nothing – nothing you can taste anyway.

The experience does give me the opportunity to solve a few myths around eating soap, so in the spirit of public service, I can announce the following: even though you do burp more, no bubbles appear when you do. Bubbles do not appear from the other end either and they do not come out your ears or nose. So it is not the party trick, Disney has made it out to be. Your stomach does start making some very loud and intriguing noises. So much so, that they kept Mr Husband awake at 2am. Serves him right!

SO! Yesterday was exciting. Today has just got to be better. It wont take much, I’m sure.

Alarm Devils

It is Monday morning, it’s 7 am and I have been up for an hour. That was NOT supposed to happen. Because I’m a student and can run my life at leisure and because Mr Husband works at night (which means that so do I), it is very rare we set the alarm. Very rare. But today I have an appointment at 9.30, so I thought it would be a good idea to set it at 8am.

The little Alarm Devil that lives inside the clock had other plans.

He has done it before, but that was long enough ago for me to forget it. Here is how it works:
I set my alarm to the hour I want and go to sleep. The Alarm Devil then decides that, at some random hour, the alarm will go ballistic, beep like crazy, blink and commit to the hour of 1.00am (it can be anything o’clock). Three times the Alarm Devil has been so clever as to pick an hour where I do not discover, that it is the wrong time. The light outside looks right, I’ve slept enough to think ‘gosh I could do with two more hours, but I’ll be OK’ and so I get up. I do my thing, bathroom, kitchen, bathroom, coffee, what-to-wear, not-those-shoes and then: what time is it?

6.23??????

By then it is too late. I’ve had my shower, had my coffee and am half way dressed.
Today, I still have two hours to kill before I need to be anywhere. I’m going to spend it exesorsising my alarm clock. Any ideas?

 

Testing

I have, with great surprise, discovered that other bloggers get contacted by companies who wants them to test and review their products. Not only does this reveal that I have been in a technological vacuum for the past many years (thinking that stories were shared orally – how old-school is that!) it also reveals something about how naive I am when it comes to product promotion. OF COURSE they are using the personal touch. Good thing I don’t work in advertising.

I’ve been all excited about the world of products I could test for a few days now. Then I became realistic. The field is very narrow. Very, very narrow.

  1. I have never read an instruction for anything.
  2. Very few gadgets interest me
  3. I cannot open anything in a jar, bottle, plastic wrap – you name it
  4. I lose my patience with most things in less than three nanoseconds
  5. if it is fancy, I’m not interested (like handmade Tibetan fig jam with cinnamon and smoked grass)
  6. I’m one of the most clumsy people I know
  7. I really am very clumsy

Then it dawned on me! This is the type of product-testing I can do for you:

  • Market interest: if I’m interested – even really excited about your product you can bet your behind that you are more than four years behind all evolution
  • Packaging: if I’m able to unwrap your product, you need better packaging
  • Fanciness: If I like it, you may want to add some sundried Samoan seaweed or a few flowers
  • I can be your crash test dummy (this really excites me). If I can use your product for an entire month without breaking it, you have a winner! Your product is ready for EU certification and can be given to children under the age of 3.

So what do you say? Do you have a product you would like me to test?