Top three things in my head

Today I read an article about blogging that said you can’t blog if you cannot write about the things that are in your head. I think that might be true. I am finding it hard to write at the moment and there are not many jokes around.

There is so much life inside my head.

The last month I feel I have been SO busy, but in actual fact, I haven’t physically done much. I have spent most of my time quietly reflecting on all the things that have happened to me in the past year and where I would like to take it from here. It is like a time-out, where I crawl into my soul and check if all the corners are healthy or if something needs mending. It takes a while and can be quite frustrating, but I know that it is necessary. Once all is in place I become a do’er again and walk strong.

There are some fundamental things about life and humans that I can only understand with my logic and not my heart. I return to these again and again and find they are the key to who I am and what I do. This is the top three:

1. Value. By western standards Mr Husband and I are poor. By my own standards I am wealthy beyond belief. I have love, freedom, choices – not to mention food every day, a roof over my head and a very high level of education. But I get frustrated by money. Really frustrated. And I wish I was financially rich. I feel ashamed about wishing for the $20 mill win because I know how wealthy I am and I know it would only change my life in a very marginal way. So every now and then I have to get my head around what ‘value’ means.

2. Racism. I have studied the mechanisms of racism for many years and understand (with my logic mind) what happens from a sociological and psychological perspective. But in my heart I do not get it. I simply don’t. I do not understand how people can judge others as less worth, simply because of the colour of their skin. Theoretically I know what is going on, but emotionally, I cannot find that feeling. It is completely alien to me. And it pains me. I am regularly upset on behalf of the world that this is how we treat each other. That is why I work with justice innovations, searching for ways where we can treat each other in a more equal way. BUT. Thinking it is my job to fix this is an impossible burden to carry so, every now and then, I have to remind myself that I will get nowhere if I think it is mine. It is not my responsibility that people keep hating each other. I can only be responsible for what I do.

3. Religion. I was not given a religion when I was born, just a name. I am grateful for this though sometimes I wish I had more direction. Religion occupies a significant part of human life on this planet and while I understand faith and understand the history of religious development, in my heart, I don’t understand why it is something we judge each other by or fight over. The formalisation of love and compassion makes no sense to me and in essence I think religion defeats its own purpose, simply by existing. It is one of the most discriminatory elements of our life. Apparently Buddha said: “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”. It is through my inner reflections and common sense that I have found I am incapable of signing up to any religion, no matter how attractive they may seem at times.

So there you go: the top three things in my head. What I need to do next is get my focus back. Over time I have learned that it is necessary for me to disappear into this head-space from time to time. I eventually come out active and productive. I hope it is soon.


8 thoughts on “Top three things in my head

  1. “I do not understand how people can judge others as less worth, simply because of the colour of their skin. Theoretically I know what is going on….”
    Could you explain that theory to me? I also don’t understand judging others as less, but I have no theoretical knowledge as to why this happens.
    In my book, people are people are people.

  2. OH!
    This quote induces severe PAIN in my natural sciences logic centre

    “you can’t blog if you cannot write about the things that are in your head”

    How can you write about ANYTHING that is not “in your head”?

    Pushing my, slightly anal, logic aside I’m all in there with you on the three points.

    Except from the not understanding with the heart thing.

    I do agree that we should treat all humans as if they where in fact humans, with equal worth irrespectively of their genetic background, believes or political views.

    But emotionally I’m not entirely convinced that the people that vote for the Danish people party or their equivalents in other countries are not harbouring inferior minds.

    I think that discriminating between “good humans” and “less good humans” are a fundamental part of our biology. The discriminating factor we use is highly variable though. I hope that by being conscious about the criteria I more or less automatically use in pre-judging people I can avoid the worst consequences of this.

    By the way, don’t worry. We’ll be here when you return from your internal spring clean. Some things just can’t be rushed.

  3. I’ve been wondering about all those “whys” since I can remember. I guess I have to accept that there are people who are evil, or just plain bad and mischievous and need to stir up trouble, or change the world into a manifestation of their own vision, but mostly I think basically people are afraid – plain old scardy cats. Toeing the line, conformity makes people feel safe. But just as for evil, it only takes one of us to stand up for what is right to silence a room – maybe a few more of us to sway the room and double that to compel others to action.

    Religion is a double-edged sword, in my opinion, but in many respects its philosophical roots are what is best in us humans, framing what is best about us, like love, and compassion. I like to try to live my life by some of these ideals. These three (Buddhist) sayings sum up much of what I feel:

    Teach this triple truth to all: a generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things that renew humanity.

    I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.

    Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Likewise, happiness never decreases by being shared.

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