If you knock on my door at 9am on Sunday morning, you ask for it.
This morning I opened the door in a white, rather tight t-shirt (no bra) and leopard undies. Outside was an elderly gentleman, suffering a deadly sweat in his long-sleeved office-blue shirt and bow tie.

Him: Good morning mam, how are you
Me: I’m good, thank you, how are you? (oh I wish I was different)
Him: Thank you, I’m well
Me: What can I do for you?
Him: I would like to invite you to the celebration of the mortification of Christ
Me: ….????….

Mr Blueshirt, looking at the toes of his shoes, hands forward a yellow leaflet with pictures of the Garden of Eden and Christ (why are these always yellow?)

Me: aaahh – are you asking me if I have any plans for Easter?
Him (face lit up like an alter candle): YES
Me (finally brave): Well, we do, and they don’t involve you I’m afraid. Have a good day.

This is a little hint for you all: if you want to invite me for Easter, framing it as the mortification of Christ aint the way to go. Just so you know.

8 thoughts on “Invitation

    • We didn’t get the pollies. I would have loved to say a few words to them. You would think that the church people were at church on Sunday morning, but alas…

  1. Mr Blueshirt sounds like the typical ascetic-to-the-core protestant!! He doesn’t know how to attract customers. I think catholics do it better: could I invite you to roast lamb and a big piss up on Sunday to make up for 40 days of fasting?

    • YES. You could. But I cannot afford the airfare. But I would come if I could! One small problem as well… eerrhhh… I didn’t do the 40 days of fasting…

  2. Ah ah you don’t need to, it’s just a justification for the piss up. That’s why catholics have confession: I’m sorry god that I gorged myself with roast lamb and got sooo drunk, even tho I didn’t fast for 40 days… My child, I can see you are sorry; you are forgiven…

    • I’m starting to question Mr Husband’s judgement call in turning his back on the catholic church. But maybe we just eat – no excuses… 😉

  3. Well, we don’t exactly need an excuse for eating, do we? My thought was that if you really have to have a religion, it’s probably more enjoyable (or less painful) to be a catholic than a protestant

    • I started thinking about the non-christian options and decided that non of them were food-fun either (in the long run). I feel priviledged to be raised without religion…

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