AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Remember some time ago, how I casually mentioned how PhD students need to do a confirmation seminar?
Well mine is coming up fast. Like at 11 am. Today.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH running-around-in circles Breathe, breathe,breathe,breathe,breathe,breathe
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

The dinner table (if you complain about the blurry photo, you and I aint friends):

Invitation to seminar (so I know where I’m going)
Presentation
Research proposal and first chapter of thesis
Confirmation of Canidature report form

I practiced last night. First I did a couple of rounds by myself in the spare room, standing behind the ironing board. Then we put the esky on the dinner table and pretended it was a lectern; that way I could practice WITH the powerpoints AND Mr Husband who pretended to be a rivited audience.

In the fifth run I discovered something was missing.
The cold, sinking, panicky feeling that appeared in that moment has not gone away. Even if it was fixed. Sleep – well you know about sleep in these situations. All the other regulars are here too. Good morning to clammy, shaky hands, shoulders stuck under the ears, chest hard as a rock and (of course) massive spot on nose.

I know that I’m prepared. I just don’t remember it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

 

 

 

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