Last night I played around with my telepathic abilities. It was a desperate attempt, but I found the alternative more confronting. I’ve already told you about the piano and guitar player who live in my complex, who preferably play around the hour of 1 am. Last night they were joined by a new friend who plays the recorder*.

My intended murdering spree of the past month has left me feeling slightly weighed by bad karma; I also think that you cannot just sit there and say “I’m going to kill them, I’m going to kill them” – and then not do anything about it. Either you kill them or find another avenue.

You might say: “why not just go talk to them.” Simple answer: they don’t play together. It’s not like a band get-together – that would be easy to handle, Mr Husband has done that quite effectively a couple of times – noooo they hide in some unidentified holes in the complex, where their tune will most efficiently bounce off all corners of the building so you have no idea where it is coming from. I would have to knock on all apartment doors, wake up everyone not already awake to ask: “do you play the recorder?” while hiding an ax. Obviously that goes in the ‘too hard’ basket.

SO I tried telepathy. It took me a long time to decide what message to send. I’m a firm believer in sending love to people, I do that all the time, but it didn’t seem suitable in this case (you know, encouragement etc etc). Hate was also out of the question – who knows – maybe they are playing because they hate their neighbours; don’t want to kindle that fire. I landed on this, very innocent message, which too many years of television and a recent magic show may have inspired: “you are feeling sleepy… you are feeling very tired…. your hands are going numb…. you are feeling very sleepy….. go to bed…”

AND IT WORKED – or at least on me it did.


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