Missing glasses

Yesterday I didn’t write anything. I had intended to, but my morning was interrupted by a small disaster: I couldn’t find my glasses. The thing is: I can’t see – not without glasses anyway.

At its lowest my vision was minus 8.5. This is no longer the case, but I cannot say I feel any different at minus 7. The world is blurry. I don’t know if it is a good thing to admit this, but for a time I was (only very slightly) exited about my vision reversing and experimented with what new options I had with my improved vision. One thing I discovered was that I still cannot see the road while driving if I take my glasses off. Oh yes I did!

Another thing minus 8.5 and minus 7 have in common is that, if you don’t know where your glasses are, you cannot see them and only have a slight chance in hell of finding them. For a while I had a pair of titanium glasses in a lovely neutral colour that blended in with everything. I think of them and still get an unrelenting desire to shoot the optometrist who recommended them (was it me that said I wanted them? I don’t think so, I would never be that stupid! No?).

If you have followed the blog, you will know that I now have more solid glasses; glasses that stand out and are easy to see and find. UNLESS of course you place them on a dark surface, like a book cover (damn you Karl Ove Knausgaard).

So yesterday I spent the morning crawling very slowly on my knees through the house. After one hour of doggy style, I had succeeded in banging either my toes, shoulder or head against the bed, the door frames, the bathroom cupboard, the kitchen cupboard, the dining table, the coffee table, the sliding doors to the balcony (lovely scraped thigh) ending in a grand finale major fight with the clothes rack on the balcony (it won, I surrendered). I had broken a cup and a glass and got a fishhook in my index finger. In complete defeat I crawled back into bed – and found my glasses on top of the book (I only checked it 10 times before starting the expedition). Then I cried a little.

After a while, I pulled myself together, cleaned up my mess and went to work. In an effort to cheer myself and a colleague up I told her about my morning troubles. In the future I will refrain from doing that again; she replied with the most dumbass comment I have ever heard: “good thing you’re not blind eh!” – If I was blind, I wouldn’t be searching for my fucking glasses would I? (trust me, I told her that!)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s